When Self-Denial Isn’t Really Self-Denial

I don’t think we understand what self-denial is. Self-denial has gotten a bad reputation in Christian circles (among other things). Some think it means hating yourself, while others view it as punishing the body to appear spiritual. Many have turned self-denial into a form of religious performance, measuring spirituality by how much they can deprive themselves.

Jesus wasn’t calling us to self-hatred when He spoke of self-denial. After all, this is the same God who calls us His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10) and tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Biblical self-denial isn’t about destroying who we are; it’s about discovering who we were meant to be. Now that makes a whole LOT of difference, doesn’t it?

Let’s clear up some misconceptions. Self-denial isn’t walking around in sackcloth and ashes, avoiding anything enjoyable. It’s not about earning God’s favor through religious asceticism. And it’s definitely not about proving how spiritual we are through extreme acts of deprivation. Now, I’m not just saying this because I want to enjoy my M&M’s from time to time. It’s about discovering the truth to set us free.

Biblical self-denial is about surrendering our right to run our own lives. It’s about yielding the throne of our hearts to its rightful King. Who is sitting on the throne of your life? If it’s other than Jesus, then tell whoever or whatever it is to get up! When Jesus practiced self-denial in Gethsemane, He said, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” That’s the essence of true self-denial.

The early church understood this distinction. When they shared their possessions, it wasn’t to prove their spirituality – it was a natural response to recognizing Jesus as Lord. Their self-denial wasn’t about punishment but about preference – they simply preferred God’s ways to their own.

Scottish Baptist evangelist Oswald Chambers says, “True self-denial means dying to our right to myself, not merely dying to chocolates.” Now you might think this quote doesn’t apply to you cause you’re not into chocolates. But I think you just missed the point. This cuts to the heart of what Jesus meant. Self-denial isn’t about giving up things. It’s about giving up our perceived right to run our own lives. When we cling to our right to ourselves, we make self-comfort, self-defense, and self-rule our highest priorities. But Jesus invites us to something better – surrendering these “rights” to find true freedom.

Religious self-denial focuses on external restrictions; biblical self-denial targets the heart. You can practice religious self-denial while still clinging to control. True self-denial goes deeper than behavior modification. Giving up bitter chocolate but still be bitter about something or someone will not help you at all.

Jesus modeled perfect self-denial without ever losing His identity. He remained fully Himself while fully submitted to the Father. He enjoyed feasts and friendships. He wasn’t a killjoy but was known for His joy. His self-denial was about alignment with the Father’s will, not self-punishment.

Of course, you don’t want to go to the other extreme (cause we sometimes do). Just because God gives us grace doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. Grace isn’t a license to sin but a reason not to. We’re talking about self-denial and not be in-denial.

The paradox is that biblical self-denial actually leads to self-discovery. When we surrender our false self – our carefully constructed identity built on control and self-protection – we find our true self in Christ. Like a seed that falls to the ground, we die to produce life. And it’s a process. It doesn’t happen overnight but over time.

The Apostle Paul got it right when he said, “I have been crucified with Christ.” But he didn’t stop there. He continued, “Nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me.” True self-denial isn’t about self-destruction but about self-displacement – making room for Christ to live through us. So we may need to do some spring cleaning and not just once-a-year. How about…daily?

Godseekers, we need to reframe our understanding of self-denial. It’s not a punishment to endure but a privilege to embrace. It’s not about becoming less human but more human as God intended. It’s not the end of joy but the beginning of true freedom. Self-denial means more accepting of God’s plan and purpose for our life.

Prayer

Father, forgive us for misunderstanding self-denial. Thank You that You’re not calling us to hate ourselves but to find ourselves in You. Help us to surrender our false identities and discover who we really are in Christ. Show us what true self-denial looks like as we follow Jesus. In His name, Amen.

Personal Reflection

1. Have you been practicing religious self-denial or biblical self-denial?
2. What false ideas about self-denial do you need to surrender?

Step of Faith

Today, I will identify one area where I’ve been practicing religious self-denial and instead focus on surrendering my will to God’s will in that area.